We end this week where we started it — with those whose lives have been severely altered by the bombings at the Boston marathon. It’s one of the hardest questions anyone who experiences something catastrophic has to face: “Why me?”
Why did I get cancer?
Why did I lose my child?
Why did that drunk driver have to run into my car?
Why did the fire take my house and spare my neighbor’s?
Why didn’t my marriage work out?
Why did I have to lose my job?
Why did I travel all the way to Boston so I could stand right next to this bomb and lose my leg?
Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?
One of our Catch members addressed this with the following: “Before coming down with cancer 6 years ago I may have been less receptive to understanding how good can triumph over pain. I went through a period of asking ‘Why me?’ as I am sure many in the Boston tragedy have also. It wasn’t until I could say ‘Why not me?’ that God could use me to touch the lives of others and walk alongside them.”
“Why not me?” changes the whole perspective. To be sure it’s not the first reaction. One would have cause to question someone’s humanity if it was, but at some point along the way, “Why me?” can and will turn into “Why not me?” if and when one gets God’s perspective.
“Why not me?” says there is a privilege to pain. One of those privileges pointed out by James in the Bible is character, as in: “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance” (James 1:2-3).
Our reader points out still another privilege in pain: the ability to identify with someone else’s pain and come alongside them. I can try and comfort someone who has lost a leg, but that can go only so far as I stand there with my two legs doing just fine. Someone else who has gone through the same thing and has gained victory over it, is someone who has the right to come alongside and bring comfort and hope.
Coming alongside is what brings one out of self-pity into being able to reach out to someone else. Coming alongside is what it’s all about. Coming alongside is the way God uses us in the world.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Why me? … Why not me?
John Fischer The Catch 
My “why not me” takes a different tone. I was diagnosed with cancer just over a year ago. A friend was diagnosed with cancer at about the same time.
My treatment: a couple of months waiting for various procedures and test results to determine what path treatment would take; 2 surgeries, 6 weeks of radiation. As I sat in the surgeon’s office on the 6th anniversary of my diagnosis, I marvelled at the fact I was done – God has blessed me richly!
My friend’s journey has been significantly different. He has a very aggresive form of cancer, so they’ve treated it aggressively. He’s been in and out of the hospital with complications, suffered nasty side effects from the chemo, and has lost more and more quality of life. They’ve recently taken him off off chemo, and he’s entered hospice. He is not expected to live much longer.
Why did i not have to suffer all that? Why was my cancer journey “easy” when compared to this friend, and several others I know who have walked or are walking this path. I will continue to worship God “even when the healing doesn’t come” as the song goes. But I remain confused.
just wanted to “say” Jab you’re in my thoughts and prayers and i love you and greatly admire your good and “confused” attitude. 🙂
Yes, this is another form of “Why me?” Like one who returns from war and his buddies do not. “Why was I spared?” and you feel guilty for living. This is like Peter wanting to know how the other disciples would die and Jesus says (paraphrased) “That’s none of your business. You follow me.” I think that’s the way we need to think about things like this. We each have our own journey. God has His reasons. One day we will see how it all fits together but until then, we each must follow Christ on our path and not make comparisons or judgments about anyone else’s path.
One thing that should be said, though, is that just because one may not have exactly the same experience does not mean we don’t have the right to share the good news of victory over pain and suffering. (I think there’s enough negatives in that sentence to make my point.) I struggled with that one when God called me to minister on Skid Row. My testimony, I thought, was too “white-bread” to have any relevance or resonance with people who were homeless, alcoholic or suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome, or drug-addicted. But the Lord said to me, “what you did go through nearly killed you, didn’t it?” “Yes,” I said. “And My Son saved you, right?” “Right.” “That’s all you need. Now GO!”
So I went. I daresay that no one *ever* said, “you don’t know what it’s like, man!” In fact eight years on, I overheard one of the people at the Mission tell a reporter, “He always has time. He’s always willing to listen.”
Lesson: sometimes we have to look hard to find the shared experiences, but even the experience of “I had my back to the wall and had hit rock bottom” is all we need, no matter what the wall and the rock happen to look like.
Brother Drew Snider: wanted to add an Amen to your comments and thank-you 4 them too.
Well said. Thanks for pointing this out.