“But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved.” — 1 Corinthians 11:5

“I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.” — 1 Timothy 2:12

“Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says.” — 1 Corinthians 14:34–35

It’s no wonder the role of women in the church has been contested for centuries. These verses, often taken at face value, have shaped entire traditions. In many evangelical churches, where the Bible is taught as literal in every word, women have been silenced, their contributions dismissed, and their gifts restricted. I grew up in one of those churches. I’ve seen the damage done, and I know it continues to this day.

But this is not simply a matter of a few difficult verses needing correction. The problem runs deeper. Misinterpretations have created a way of thinking that robs women of their dignity, diminishes their role in the body of Christ, and stifles the Spirit’s work through them. I must also admit this personally: in my own marriage, I overlooked much of what my wife, Marti, accomplished because I failed to respect her brilliance, creativity, and strength. Misreadings do not stay theoretical; they wound relationships.

A closer reading of Scripture reveals that these passages were not universal rules for all churches at all times. They addressed specific cultural contexts:

• Paul’s instruction on head coverings reflected local customs, not eternal law.
• His admonition about silence in Ephesus was connected to the influence of the pagan cult of Artemis, where women were loud and disruptive.
• And even in 1 Corinthians 11, women are already praying and prophesying aloud in worship. The issue was not whether they could speak, but how.

The tragedy is that three verses, stripped from their context, were used to justify centuries of patriarchy. They gave men unquestioned dominance, sanctioned inequality, and, in some cases, excused abuse. All under the supposed authority of Scripture.

The Unspoken Fear at the Heart of Masculinity

Yet even if we corrected these cultural misreadings, another obstacle would remain—one not written on the page but locked in the hearts of men.

Evangelical men are often trained to project strength, presenting themselves as confident, articulate, and spiritually assured. But beneath this seamless exterior lies a consuming fear of vulnerability.

For many of us men, vulnerability feels like stepping into a bottomless pit. It risks disapproval. It exposes flaws. It threatens the fragile identities we’ve built on certainty and control. So instead of leaning into grace, we cling to authority. Instead of opening our hearts, we reinforce our walls. Vulnerability is mistaken for weakness.

This fear does not always look like fear. It often looks like control. It looks like confidence. It can even masquerade as spiritual authority. But at its core, it is paralysis—the inability to risk being fully known.

The Cost: Respect Deferred

Here is the cost: until men confront this fear, they cannot meaningfully return respect to women.

Respect is not chivalry or politeness. It is seeing women as Christ sees them—with equal worth, full dignity, and Spirit-given authority. But a heart locked behind fear cannot see clearly. In this way, the silencing of women is not just about women being told not to speak. It is also about men being unable to hear.

Healing begins with vulnerability—with admitting that control is an illusion. With realizing that certainty is not the same as faith. With discovering that true strength is found in the courage to be known, including our messiness and all.

Breaking this cycle requires dismantling the structures of judgment that have long reinforced a distorted masculinity. It requires safe spaces for men to risk honesty and find that Christ meets them not in their control but in their surrender.

Christian men must reclaim vulnerability not as weakness but as Christlike strength. Misreadings of Scripture have silenced women, and fear has paralyzed men. It is time to confront both. Respect will not be restored through control, but through courage, transparency, grace, and love.