Returning Respect to the Women in My Life — Part 3

(mostly for the men)

For a long time, I thought I was just being “wise.”

I weighed the risks. I measured the costs. I analyzed every decision before I made it. On the outside, it looked like I was careful. On the inside, the truth was simpler: I was afraid.

And here’s the hard part to admit — that fear didn’t just hold me back personally. It kept me silent when I should have spoken. It kept me passive when I should have acted. It kept me from respecting the women in my life the way Christ calls me to.

I lived in my head, and my head told me: Stay safe. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t step out too far.

But the head isn’t built for courage. The heart is.

What Fear Looks Like in the Head

When I let my head lead, fear disguised itself as logic.

• “What if I say something and it’s misunderstood?”
• “What if people don’t agree?”
• “What if I get it wrong?”
• “What if the guys think I’m being hen-pecked?”

So I stayed quiet. I stayed small. I stayed comfortable. And I called it wisdom.

But the truth is, it wasn’t wisdom. It was fear. And fear always costs something. It cost me respect for myself. It cost women the honor they deserved. And it cost me intimacy with God.

What Courage Looks Like in the Heart

When I finally started listening to God’s Word in my heart, I began to see courage differently. Courage isn’t about having no fear — it’s about trusting God more than I trust my fear.

Joshua 1:9 became a lifeline for me:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Notice what that verse doesn’t say. It doesn’t say, “Figure it all out in your head.” It says, “Trust that God is with you.” That’s a heart decision. That’s faith.

Courage doesn’t come from overthinking. It comes from surrendering. From saying, “Lord, I don’t have to know how this will turn out — I just have to know You’re with me.”

Moving Out of Fear

So here’s my confession:
For years, I let fear rule me. I stayed in my head because it felt safe, but in doing so, I disobeyed God, and, among other things, dishonored women.

And here’s my promise:
I don’t want to play it safe anymore. I want to live from the heart, where God’s Spirit gives courage to act, even when fear whispers to hold back.

Because respect takes courage. Love takes courage. Following Jesus takes courage. And that courage doesn’t come from me — it comes from Him. It’s in my heart when I step out believing.

Why This Matters

When men live from the head, fear keeps us small. We shrink back from relationships. We build walls. But when we live from the heart, courage takes root, and anything can happen because we have put ourselves in the middle of the action.

And courage is what opens the door to real respect. It gives us the boldness to speak up for women, to honor their gifts, to step into uncomfortable places for the sake of love. It frees us to live the gospel instead of just talking about it.

The head keeps you safe. The heart calls you forward.

I’ve spent too long letting fear make my decisions. I want courage to lead me now. Because courage is where Christ is found — and where respect comes alive.