Look at you guys. Yesterday I wrote about getting all bent out of shape over some kid who made me wait at a crosswalk, and instead of joining me in my frustration, you identified with the kid – even tried to figure out what might have contributed to his apparent insensitivity. Maybe he had poor vision. Maybe he had asthma and couldn’t walk fast. Maybe he had a gimpy leg. Or like Ann who had a sister who was struck by a car, maybe he had a mental illness that took his mind off his surroundings. And then there was Sandra, bless her heart, whose husband has just been diagnosed with leukemia and was going in for a bone marrow biopsy yesterday. Sandra was so hurting herself over this that she could identify with the kid in the crosswalk and imagine herself so caught up in her anxiety that she couldn’t pay attention to anything else.
What did all these people do that I didn’t do? They gave the guy the benefit of a doubt. They thought through their own experiences and came up with some moments where, had they been in the same situation; they might have done the same thing.
Take it from these people. This is how to treat everyone we meet, friend or foe. No judgment. No blame. No assumptions.
Or, as Bethany, one of our readers, put it, “He’s the kid in the crosswalk, not your enemy. He just needs some attention from someone. Maybe God had that young man cross your path because someone needs to be praying for him.
“What if you had just rolled down your window while he sauntered by and simply said, “Hello, how are you today?” He surely would have been surprised, and you might have been surprised at the response.”
John Fischer The Catch 
Awesome reminder to us all. Thanks, John!
Unfortunately I identified much more with your reaction than with the crosswalk offender. I work at a high school and one of my biggest “peeves” is watching those students cross the street as slowly as they can, for whatever reson. Traffic is backed up and they seem totally unconcerned. I often think, what if someone waiting in that line of cars has an emergency somewhere and is desparate to get to someone quickly. I now see both sides of the coin. Whether you’re driving or walking the main thing is to be considerate of others. Isn’t that what Jesus taught us….to think of others before ourselves?
Yes!
John, having driven the Pacific Coast Highway in Laguna, I’d stick with your original diagnosis. Yes, we must beware our assumptions. But anyone who SAUNTERS across PCH without the help of a stoplight… crosswalk or not, this person has an attitude or a death wish.
My sense from the first post is that our challenge is to appropriately deal with those whose actions and words scream “*%#@* you!” It is a societal challenge: we live in a culture of people who insist on their rights but ignore their responsibilities.
Perhaps, as followers, we should roll down our windows and try to brighten his day: “Have a nice day” in a sincere tone. But perhaps it would be more helpful, and more loving, to suggest “Watch out for the guy behind me – cars usually don’t slow down on this stretch.” In my experience, the saunterer is likely to resent anything I say out of my car window. But then, I’m not responsible for his reaction.
What might I say or do to an “Up yours” attitude that is actually helpful, loving? And better yet, can I say it/do it in a “Salty” way? Hard questions indeed, especially in the spur of the moment.
Wow John, I was siding with you before todays catch. I had the same feelings you had. I am one of those people that thinks everybode is always trying to inconvenience me. God really spoke to me today in reading your post. The Holy Spirit has been trying to convict me of having more love for others and your catch has just reinforced it just a little bit more. Thank you so much for opening my eyes and my heart. Have a blessed day.
It’s so easy, and common, to “awfulize” others when their behavior conflicts with ours. it takes a little discipline, and perhaps some grace from the Holy Spirit, to ask ourselves, “Why would a reasonable, rational, decent human being think what they’re thinking, say what they’re saying, or do what they’re doing?” Asking the qustion invites us to think of other stories that might be in play in their lives, and might even generate a little compassion for the other person.
Well said.
Hi John,
This reminds me of a lesson I learned from my thirteen year old son several years ago. I was second in a short line of vehicles waiting to make a left turn at a traffic light. Traffic was not heavy and the driver in front of me had passed up several opportunities that I considered sufficient for the maneuver, and I was getting increasingly impatient with each missed opportunity. Finally I blurted out “What’s with you, you…” but in deference to my son I left the descriptor hang for a while as I searched for a term I could actually use in front of my son. While I hesitated my son said “Person”. And I thought “That’s right! Of all the terms I was considering, none is more accurate than ‘Person’. This unknown operator in the vehicle ahead of me is not some nameless obstacle to my progress, but some one’s child/parent/sibling/friend. This is a person who is loved by God and for whom God’s blood was shed. ” My son taught me a very valuable lesson that day. Thank God for kids!