Marti’s brother, Mark, remarked after seeing the pictures of our recent skydiving outing, that the most incredible thing about the whole experience was not jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet, but the fact that Marti was looking great in a pair of jeans. Mark was just as surprised finding out she owned a pair as he was seeing her actually wearing them.
My wife will always be the best-dressed woman in town. It’s not that she works hard at this, nor is it because she has something to prove, it’s because it simply is. I’ve been with her long enough to not question this or try and change it. I take her as she comes; and I have learned to enjoy the ride.
One of the most common mistakes made in many marriages is to think that one can influence some kind of change over time on a partner. To think that you can like certain things about your mate and change the rest is the death-knell of any relationship. You buy the whole package, and if there are things you wish you could change (and there will be), you learn to look at those things in another light. In most cases, these will be the things you end up loving the most about a person. It’s a part of what unconditional love is all about. It’s more than just accepting what you don’t like or understand about the other, it’s about loving them for that.
In my case, it hasn’t been that hard to accept the fact that my wife happens to always be the best looking woman is the room. Not that it’s a contest; it’s just the way it is. If she could have jumped out of a plane in a dress and heels, she would have. But I must admit (and one day she may actually discover this too), that she really does look great in a pair of jeans.
John Fischer The Catch 
I just thoroughly enjoy reading about the love between brother John & his wife Marti and their relationship and the honesty about how he, or anyone else, especially me at times, does desire to change what we may not like a whole lot about a partner, yet it’s give me great encouragement to know that eventually those parts are what I hope to end up loving the most about a person.
let me plz also add, i think she, Marti does look great in a pair of jeans. 🙂
It is so incredibly obvious how much love that John & Marti have for each other. It is a shining example of the way a “real” relationship works. We hear the phrase “I love you” missused about as often as we hear “would you like fries with that”. LOL Marti accepts how John likes “rainy days” & John digs Marti’s “to die for” attitude. These two have a certain “mojo” goin’ on that all of us can “see”. I can “see” thier love, all the time, written between the lines of this devotional & it is very refreshing.
Go Marti!
Looking at how strong your marriage is . . .and that God brought us through turbulent times. .. I’m asking you to pray for a marriage being torn apart, lives being torn apart, children involved . . .
Love this expression of acceptance and devotion of two very different people! Thanks
Bingo! Been there, on the wrong side of this one.
The first time I saw Marti in jeans was in the market in Half Moon Bay. We went shopping for cheese and treats for the party you hosted for her United co-workers and I performed my one-man play, THE FIFTH GOSPEL—in your living room. (Mark Spoelstra was my opening act!) Anyway…back in the market, Mati was a few paces ahead of me in the aisle and I noticed she was wearing jeans. (I didn’t even now Ms. Martin owned jeans.) I screamed, “Marti!” She spun around… “You’re wearing jeans!”
We all got a big laugh out it. (And lots of good chesse)
P.S. Marti changed into party hostess attire, later. Not a ball gown, but a real dish to be sure. Now I have photographic evidence that the Marti owns and WEARS jeans. (Good photo, BTW, of Marti and Annie.)
Love to any in the Fischer clan who admit knowing me.
We all admit to knowing you and loving you madly (and missing you because of it!)
Marti is a looker. No doubt about it. But the dearest part of what you wrote is that she is the best looking, best dressed woman in a room. That’s the way it should be. According to my husband, I’m the best looking, best dressed woman in a room. And, to me, he’s the best looking man anywhere anytime. I was in a marriage where that was not the case and I REALLY appreciate the difference.
Differences: “First recognize them, then appreciate them, and end up encouraging them.” (I think that is an old Walt McCuistion line.) That is the growth, beyond Tolerance, that this reminds me of. Thanks.
Walt McCuiston… what a dear guy.
I just told my husband yesterday that I respected and loved him for accepting me and not trying to change me or expect me to be like a certain type of “christian woman” He accepts me for who I am and this is freedom. I love him for it. So many women struggle with trying to be a certain way for their husbands and that is bondage.
I agree… absolutely don’t try to change the “little things” like a person’s style or clothing preferences. Undies left in the bathroom – no problem. Cap off the toothpaste – I can put it back. I heard about a woman who always complained about her husband’s socks on the floor, then he died, and she’d give anything to see those socks again.
But what about hurtful behaviors? If someone (whom you must be around like a spouse or offspring) is just plain ugly or unkind from time to time? Needlessly snapping at others, angry at things no-one else in the room can discern a reason for, etc.? I think one should try to change these things for everyone’s good (including the person doing it). The challenge – HUGE challenge – is to try to point it out in a loving way that might be heard.
This is another thing entirely. One has to do with preferences, the other has to do with obedience. My wife will be all over me if she thinks I am not listening to the Lord.
Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom. It is very clear that you cherish this wonderful gift from God, a woman who also brings out the best in you.
I want to be like Marti!!!!
John,
Now we both know you married way over your head!
Thanks for the intriguing snippets into your love story. They warm my heart!
Marti, you do indeed look great in jeans! Women do not have to be 30 years old or younger to wear jeans and wear ’em very well….The definition of unconditional love for one’s spouse got me to thinking about how harshly a lot of women judge themselves, for appearance and beyond. I wonder if we must also learn to love ourselves in some sort of unconditional way? I suspect it’s a yes to self-forgiveness.