Those of you who have been with us for a while realize we have left out an important part of our family so far this week – our 11-year-old Chandler. Most of that is because he was not on the skydiving trip. And yet it would not be right to conclude a week introducing family to you without mentioning the one who has contributed so much to uniting us. Not that he was ever conscious of that; he just did.
An eighteen-year span separates Anne from Chandler, but no one I know is counting. It would have been easy for Christopher and Anne to check out on family when Mom and Dad decided to start over again. Most parents start celebrating an empty nest at this point. But they didn’t. On the contrary, they circled back and have embraced Chandler as little brother and as a result there is no one Chandler loves more on this planet than his big brother and sister.
Over the years I have not always made my family my top priority. I have cared more about what people I will never know thought of me than my own kids. With Chandler and everyone back, I feel like I have my second wind, and so far, I have my family back.
Recently God has given me a word that I choose to pass on to you. The word was something to the effect of saying: How can you expect to take care of my family if you haven’t taken care of yours? It’s a priority not always taken but one that will reward the bearer handsomely.
John Fischer The Catch 
I have cared more about what people I will never know thought of me than my own kids.
So true of many of us – many in ministry…
So let’s do something about that. Are you with me?
With ya!
u speak truth. but how do you reconcile when the family does not want to be taken care of? Or I think as I write, my idea of what should be ‘taken care of’ is not their idea, especially with an aging parent and or sib who has led a destructive life with choices made.
growing up i was like your Chandler, as we have a blended family, 10 + yr younger than the sibs. all my life i was told i was the one who brought everyone one together. so somewhere all along the way i believed that and my role was the, healer, fixer &uniter…you get the picture. at 52 i am still believing that and when things don’t get fixed, i’ve failed…. what i have to remember i am God’s agent, he is the ultimate Healer, Fixer & Uniter. I can only plant a seed and water and let Him give give the growth.
So I guess what I’ve learned this morning from my week of trying to helped the ailing family, they have to make the ultimate choice even if it is not in their best interest. I have to put my ‘fix it tools’ aside and let the Almighty Tool Man do the work. A hard thing but a call of humility on my party. Maybe I didn’t fail in my quest, but planted seeds. But then again it should not have been my quest but God’s.
(I needed to vent)
Sounds like you answered your question. Lighten up a little. Love. You are not in charge of results.
Thanks for introducing us to your beautiful family! I love what you said about taking care of them first. I’ve recently been somewhat overwhelmed with the spiritual needs of the people around me, especially young people. Thanks for reminding me to prioritize my own kids.
Years ago and as a new Christian, single mother with 4 children to raise, I put my whole life into the church. However, many times that impacted my family’s life but the “leaders” told me – It’s OK, you are doing God’s work! Two of the five are serving the Lord, three are still struggling with the offerings of the world. But I am thankful that as number five came along, I had a Christian husband and we finally found the better path and let God direct our activities. As a musician and choir director, you tend to feel that you have to do it all. God is helping me see that my personal relationship with Christ is the first priority and then all the rest falls into place. Thank you for your honesty and practical teaching that helps us all.
Blessings on you and your family.
A good word. Thanks.
John: God blessed you in giving you the realization that you once cared more about what people you will never know thought of you than your own kids. You indeed have been fortunate with Chandler and everyone back, that you feel like you have your second wind, and so far, you have my family back. I made the mistake that you did but I did not learn my lesson until it was too late. Youth ministry and Group Publications became my reason for living and then into the world of foster care. Spent to many years taking care and raising others children in the faith. My wife divorced me and my children scattered. I am trying to build a bridge to them now that I have gotten older and wiser but the construction is going slow. God willling he will give me the tools I need to build a better bridge one that will last the test of time.
God will honor your desire to do the right thing. I pray for restoration.
Right on!
John,
I read an an interview about Eugene Peterson. The columnist asked Mr. Peterson what he wanted to be remembered for. He replied that he wanted to be known as the best husband and dad. To be a husband and dad are the greatest callings!
Mike
This is what I want and it is a huge challenge for me.