Okay, it’s my turn at one of Marti’s rabbit trails.
It was the Fourth of July and Chandler was 10 months old – still small enough to carry in one of those front-loading baby packs where you walk around with the little tyke facing out, his back pressed to your chest and his arms and legs flailing. After finding our favorite restaurants full, we settled on a new place that had outside patio seating. Perfect, we thought. If Chandler becomes difficult it’s not as disruptive outside.
Our first surprise came when they didn’t have any highchairs. Odd. Glancing around the patio, we saw no other children so it wasn’t like they ran out. With so many people bringing children to restaurants these days, it seemed like more than an oversight; it seemed almost anti-children. For that reason, it didn’t help when Chandler started to become more and more unruly. Without a highchair, I had to keep him in his pack just to contain him, but that put him right where he could get his hands into my food at the table. I had the choice of letting him get into the food and make a mess all over both of us at the table or back away and let him scream. Whenever I tried the latter, I was aware of angry eyes our way.
It was then I noticed something about the people behind those eyes. “Do you notice anything different about the people in this place?” I whispered to Marti. She looked up and saw what I had just realized: Every table was occupied by a same-sex couple – every table, that is, except us and one couple who looked like farmers from Iowa. I caught him a few times looking desperately in our direction. “This is a gay restaurant,” Marti said under her breath.
Sure enough. The two guys who came in dressed like Richard Simmons in American flag tank tops and shorts sealed it. That explained the lack of highchairs and the perceived shortage of patience people seemed to have with Chandler. One older couple seemed to look over our way quite a lot, making me more and more uncomfortable by the minute. Finally I explained to Marti that I had had it and was going to take Chandler and wait for her outside.
While we waited I could see that Marti had stopped on her way out to talk to the older gentlemen that I had assumed were exasperated with Chandler. As you can see, Marti’s commitment to equality and diversity is not anything she just picked up. This was 10 years ago.
When we finally joined up outside, I asked her what she was talking to those guys about.
“Well I went over to apologize for interrupting their dinner and they said, ‘Oh, not at all. In fact we are both retired physicians and for the last few years we have been treating bruised and battered children, 6,000 of them in all, and we were remarking how hearing a healthy baby cry was like music to our ears.'”
When we take on another, like the Muslims, as enemies we see that we take them on as lesser men and women and are, by God, proved wrong and end up paying respect to the enemies.
John Fischer The Catch 
Applause
Chasing a Rabbit: Are you brave enough to tell your King, the Christ, something that he does not want to hear?
Some years ago, my son got into drugs. I felt he was committing suicide every time he used. Being the momma—- I prayed, cried, ranted, raved, bribed, and prayed some more. I prayed for soberiety; I prayed for a miracle; I reminded God that the kid had been raised in church; I reminded God that this kid was planned & prayed for; I reminded God that my son had accepted Jesus as Savior; I prayed for Christian friends; I prayed for all drug dealers to die (I was in such denial that I didn’t understand I may have been praying death for my son). I prayed, I ranted, I raved, I cried, I bribed, and I prayed. Are you getting the picture? I was an absolute mess!
Finally, the “I” prayers stopped and I asked God, “What do YOU want me to do, Lord?” And, He answered, “Give him to me.” (Yes, God speaks in an audible voice.) And then the arguing (on my part) started. After about a week of: “if I give him to you, God–you might let him go to jail, you might let him die, you might __________ ” (just fill in the blank with any of the “bad” stuff that God sometimes allows his children to suffer). And then, I gave my child to God—conditionally.
I gave my child to God, on the condition that He would keep my child alive so my son would at least have the opportunity to turn back to the Lord. I told God that I was going to be so mad and probably a lot of other stuff if He let my kid die. Bottom line: God spared his life and brought him back to the fold (remember the lost sheep parable). 🙂
As I look back on this time, I understand that trying to make a deal with the Lord God was absolutely arrogant and against Biblical principles. I believe God rolled His eyes and shook His head and thought, “There are better ways to do this, but because I love you, Judy, I’m gonna do it your way to teach you some life lessons.” And He did.
So, the question is: “Are you brave enough to tell your King, the Christ, something that he does not want to hear?” I’m not sure if brave is the word. What I do know is that God used my love for my child, my ‘deal/condition’, my pleading, — all the stuff that was going on–to bring me into a closer, deeper relationship with Him and got me where He wanted me to be. Our God is the God of love and miracles. And, HE is big enough to handle what we tell Him, even if it’s not what He wants to hear.
We are all God’s creation – all God’s children. And as humans, we all have the same basic needs and desires. If we focus on our commonalities – rather than our differences – we relate to each other as equals. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is fear.
You nailed it, Steve. Thanks!
Amen… being a mom of a gay daughter that grew up in a Christ following household – I couldn’t have said it better. (It’s not seeing different things, it’s seeing the same things differently – apply that to this situation).
I love Steve’s comment. WE ARE ALL HUMANS. Let that sink in for a moment. Opposite of love is fear – who brings on that fear?
Thank you for publishing this today.
I loved reading your story this morning John – thank you for sharing it with us. I am so glad that Marti stopped and talked with those guys – my how that turned your whole day around to a more positive one – GO Marti! She has encouraged me to do the same if I am ever in a similar situation. Oh, and one other thing….I hope she mentioned to the owners to get a few highchairs. My gay cousin and her partner have just found out that she is pregnant and they are expecting – we are all so excited! The inclusion of highchairs are not just for the straight families.
I agree. This was 10 years ago and probably wouldn’t happen today. In fact gay hangouts are on the decline. They become more unnecessary as gays are more culturally assimilated.
Bravo!
Thanks John and Marti. It’s really important for us to join in a discussion with other travelers along a rabbit trail, so that we might see something that we have been missing.
Part of Eph 3:19 says, “… and to know this love that surpasses knowledge … “. Its necessary to read the context in order to follow Paul’s (actually, God’s) flow of thought, but the idea here is that God’s Love exceeds our ability to comprehend it, not just by a little, but it’s really out of this world. Our assumptions about the extent of what we know are so far off, that once in awhile someone or something pokes us and we wake up to find ourselves floundering in mythology of our own creation. Our human tendency is to get so dogmatic and theological about what a “good Christian” does and thinks, that we scoff at another person’s understanding of God’s Love.
Yet another rabbit trail that really bugged me a couple years ago, was William P. Young’s novel, The Shack. The left brained theologians totally missed the point(s); it was kind of sad actually.
Your experience reveals how important it is for us to continue loving others as God loves us regardless of what we discern to be healthy/not about their choices. God-in-Christ Jesus loved sinners, for which all of us are eternally thankful!
The difficulty that many folks have is that, with an accurate discernment that gay hang-outs are not usually family friendly, we may use that discernment to treat gays unlovingly.
Some of us consider it absolutely vital that the Body of Christ walk the walk that reveals gender reconciliation (affirming heterosexual marriage & commitment, affirming that both genders may lead in church [because there is no male/female in Christ Jesus, Gal. 3], and the life from God that flows naturally from that reconciliation), and love gays. The difficulty we’ve noticed is that our “standing in Christ”, as Paul names it, in accord with the Word, offends people who want our approval of their choices, and not just our love. God always loves us, but God’s love doesn’t mean that God wants us to continue in paths that fail to show how our lives are transformed & reconciled in Christ.
There will always be a tension in our spiritual walk through this world. We are called to love brothers, sisters and enemies, but we must not tell them there is no cross on the narrow path following Jesus.
My friend shared this true story with me the other day. (it starts like a joke)
A Christian was speaking with an atheist the other day. The atheist, knowing he was with a Christ-follower, attempted to dissuade him from his faith. After the atheist gave some compelling reasons for his dis-belief in God, the Christian replied with, “Good, we’re both believers then”. The atheist, quite shocked by that statement, asked the Christian what he meant by calling him a Believer. The Christian went on to explain, “look, since we both have strong reasons for our beliefs, why don’t we sit down and talk about them”.
Rabbit Trail…
This is great! This is a discussion starter rather than a discussion ender.