I have a black eye. There’s no damage to the eye, just dark blue blood under the surface of the skin that has drained down around the eye from a bump higher up on my head. I’ve been speaking in public for the last three days like this and I’ve had the “You should see the other guy” line ready just in case, but hardly anyone has asked me about it. Actually, the other guy was a doorknob, and the doorknob is just fine.
It all started when Chandler wanted me to carry him to his bedroom. Even though he’s 11-years-old and about 80 pounds, he still asks for me to carry him sometimes, and, as long as I can, I will. This time was a little different, however. He wanted me to carry him, carrying the Chihuahua. I figured 12 more pounds wouldn’t hurt. Whether it was the extra weight or something else, I don’t know, but I took one step with them both in my arms and my feet somehow got tied up together and down went Dad, son and Chihuahua in one big heap on the floor. The Chihuahua stood there awkwardly for the longest time (I thought he might be hurt) and then turned and walked away disgusted. It wasn’t until Chandler screamed at the goose egg on my forehead that I realized I’d even hit anything. And it was a goose egg, as if someone sliced a golf ball in half and slipped it under my skin.
Whenever I get an injury like this on a visible part of my body I immediately calculate to my next engagement and wonder how silly I will look. I actually had a trip in three days, but when the swelling was way down the next day I was relieved. Two more days and no one will know anything happened. But the second day, a black and blue spot started to form over my eye and by the time I left for my appearance in Texas, it was across my eyelid heading down the side of my eye. When I woke up to speak in chapel at LeTourneau University, it was under my eye and starting down my cheek. So much for that quick heal I hoped for.
What really surprised me was something Chandler told me when he saw the black eye forming. “You should borrow some make-up from Mama.” That he would even think of that was one thing; that he would care is another. He amazes me sometimes.
I didn’t give the make-up thing much thought until I was teaching 200 student leaders on Saturday about our tendency as leaders to cover up the things that make us human and accessible to others, and I realized I hadn’t told them about my black eye. So I told them the story and that I could have covered it up, and that we should think instead about what I gained by not covering it up. (I got a lot of laughs over the story, I became more human, I got to tell about Chandler and our Chihuahua, and everything else I said carried more credibility as a result of being honest about this.) And I think anyone would agree: we were much further down the road together toward understanding God’s grace in our lives with my black eye shining than with it covered up in make-up.
John Fischer The Catch 
It made you just like them – very human and if you had hidden behind silence then your public persona and your personal one would not have the same. As the Kurt V. says…”We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” (Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night). You didn’t pretend to be anything other than who you were and that is what Christ did.
Good job!
God uses even the bumps and bruises of our lives to get the message across. Cool reminder.
I once poked my preacher-man father in the eye one Saturday evening when I was a kid – I mean REALLY poked it (it’s an embarrassing story – I was sitting on his lap showing him a bruise on my thigh and I got him with my big toe). The next morning at church I was far more concerned and embarrassed about his appearance than he was; I’m pretty sure he explained from the pulpit (like you to some hearty laughs). It taught me a lot about being comfortable in your skin and being yourself, red eyes and all. One of the many, many, many things he demonstrated to me so well. Praise God for good fathers.
Thank you for sharing your story this morning John….and I am glad that you, Chandler and pup are okay! God IS good!
John
This is priceless thanks for sharing!
I’m all for authenticity. See my dad was a pastor but would come home and be abusive at home to me and my sisters. I lived the life of coverup. I became so good at it I could have been a professional coverup artist by the time I moved out on my own. Now I let people see my woundedness and guess what People aren’t scared by it. They embrace the scarred up Me and love me with bruises and all.
You should show a pic of the chihuahua! I’m getting a new puppy on Thursday a sheltie chihuahua mix maybe I will think first before carrying him with my niece a and nephew in hand!
A Sheltie-chihuahua mix? Cool! 🙂 Enjoy it!
John, the colors on your face look kind of cool and artistic, actually!
All of us can stand to do a little less covering up and a little more laughing at ourselves, even with others joining in the laughter. Speaking of which, I was about to put on my make-up for the day when I sat down to do a few e-mails instead.
Lord, is that your warm laughter I hear?
Glad you and Chandler and the chihuahua are okay!
This is just so amazingly close to an experience I had when my father died in 2004. Our son who is 6’6″ (my dad was 6’8″) was playing hockey in Missouri at the time as a 21 yr old. Dad died suddenly. LIving in Canada the airline tickets to fly 3 of us south on short notice on New Year’s Day was astronimical Alan was in the states so he drove to my parent’s house and met me the day after I arrived. I won’t go into it but huge family dynamics in my family of origin and lots of ‘cover up’ to look good on the outside. Having spent 20 yrs north in CAnada I have worked extremely hard to change my poor coping skills and to live and be an example for an authentic life hoping my children will become free to speak their truths…..which isn’t Always in line with mine BUT necessary for them to be who they are and NOT who I think they should be to make ME better LOL. Alan showed up with a big black eye….much like yours John! Internally I was embarrassed but knew not to say a word and there were more important things to focus on. Funeral was 4 days away so it could improve. Well, Alan was in the kitchen with my dad’s eldest sister. I overhead her say “Alan, you can get some makeup from your grandmother and probably cover that black eye up before the funeral so no one will see it” I was just about to step into the kitchen to ‘rescue Alan” (most likely ready to say something that would stir the dysfunction more than not) and I hear Alan gently say “Aunt Peggy, it is just a black eye and really nothing to worry about”!!! At the service Alan was introduced to the group because he is the living proof dad lives on in his height. Alan proudly stood up in his nice suit/turned around w/out hesitation and waved to the group of 750 people who I”m sure saw his black eye……and I reliazed what a great person he was becoming in spite of MY “isms”…..and I didn’t care what anyone thought about the black eye. I was just a black eye! Thanks John for reminding us the importance of not ‘covering up’ !
Really sorry I missed you in Longview. I was going to drive up from Houston with a friend, and camp at a nearby park a couple of nights. But “stuff” got in the way. My loss.
Keep carrying Chandler to bed as long as you can. Our oldest grandchild, who is eight, visits frequently, and recently bugged me to take her for a ride in the red wagon. I thought it was a bit ridiculous, an eight year old riding in a wagon, until the God-voice in my head reminded me that the time will come all too soon when she wouldn’t be caught dead in that wagon. So we took our trip around the block, and I’ll pull her again – if she still wants me to.
Hi John
Man thatlooks and sounds like it really hurt…but leave it to you to put it in a great light ! …There is nothing in our lives the LORD cannot use for His glory once submitted to Him …
Once when our band was just starting a gig in Columbus, OH , at the club near the University. They had two bandstands one inside and one outside. We started on the outside one. When it started to rain, we had to move all our equipment into the inside through a large crowd of people .I think it was a Friday .
Anyway as I was helping to move the mike stands…etc…I caught someone’s elbow in my eye .OUCH ! For the rest of the gig I had to wear an eyepatch. Making lemonaide out of lemons, I painted silver star on it with some silver paint.
AHARRRR Matey! it was something of a hit.
…Maybe if I had kept it in the ‘act’ it might have been a good idea!
Anyway …it is funny to think how things like this open up various ways our testimony comes up .
Hope you are feeling better soon….in the mean time …I am pretty sure you are a “hit” with any crowd …. without any glitzy eyepatch OR makeup ! hahaha good job!
Bless!
His
Kristina
Great story! Try some arnica gel on a bruise the next time you get one. It’ll fade in no time. Works on strains, sprains, sore muscles, etc.. too. I have found it comes in very handy as an easily bruised redhead and as I have more of the aches/pains the come with age! 🙂
Thanks for the tip.