Love understands.
Part of loving someone is to attempt to understand them. If someone who is opposed to Christianity for whatever reason determines that you are seeking to understand them for no other reason than to know them better, they will feel loved.
And this will be a whole new feeling for many people who have had contrary experiences with impatient, dogmatic Christians.
To have a Christian genuinely try and understand a person with an opposing argument or a rival world religion just to understand them, not change them – that would be new.
The problem with evangelicalism for as long as I can remember is that doctrine has always been paramount. Believing right is more important than believing. Anyone with another belief or worse yet, an atheist, is seen as either a threat or an enemy. The only option with such a person is to correct them. In this thinking, being right is more important than anything including being loving. So the only option with someone of opposing or differing belief systems is a sort of stalemate protected by a guarded distance. Any meaningful encounter with such a person must include furthering the Christian agenda in some manner in order to overcome what is wrong about what they believe. If after repeated attempts, you get nowhere, then the relationship is usually unproductive and not worth wasting your time.
Evangelical rewrite of 1 Corinthians 13: “These three things remain: faith hope and love, but the greatest of these is conversion.”
Truth of the matter is, a relationship where love and understanding prevail is more likely to reach the desired evangelical goal than an argument, but this is hard to even point out because that makes love and understanding a means to an end when it is not.
God saves people; we don’t.
God changes people; we don’t.
God loves people; we do too.
God honors people; we do too.
God understands people; we try to.
John Fischer The Catch 
Beautiful, John, and so true. What our world needs more of right now; before our country self destructs: Love and honor. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We each make a difference. 🙂
This has really helped my heart and the process of forgiveness I’m in due to this subject of “differing beliefs” and how it hurts others. I no longer belief a certain belief about “baptism,” but my Mother does. My daughter has chosen to be “baptized” on Easter, Praise God! But, after telling my Mom, the first response was not elation that she wants to follow Christ, but “Do they have any classes to teach people.” It hurts, but because I used to be under this thinking, it helps me to not turn bitter. Thanks for this post, again; very comforting for me this morning. Blessings to you and your family!
What good is being ‘right’ if you go about it the wrong way – if your heart is not where it should be? In their own eyes, the Pharisees were so very right – but in God’s eyes they were so very wrong!
Well said, John.
I’ve been loving these last several posts John! Sometimes, I’m simply embarrassed by the words and actions of those calling themselves Christians (including my own!). It’s no wonder others often don’t think much of us! In the words (tweet) of our friend Rick Warren, “There are two barriers that often keep pople from trusting their lives to Jesus: 1) They’ve never met a Christian, 2) They have.
So true.
When it comes to witnessing to our son (3 of our kids KNOW Jesus, while this son rejected Jesus around 14 years old, and is now a practicing Hindu at age 34) I had a difficult time accepting his views and was often critical in my approach in discussing my faith vs his faith. As his mother I was “desperate” for him to see Christ through my eyes and heart…so he would be in Heaven one day. I viewd this approach of witnessing as showing my sincere love for him. But what I was actually doing was pushing him farther away through my often critical stance. My husband’s approach was much different than mine. His words of wisdom pierced my mind and heart…and it made all the difference. He said, “Cathy, you called to love, not save. Show love and compassion and leave the salvation up to the Lord.” My relationship with my son did a 360 when I was able to just show him real love without judgement, and leave the rest up to God. I appreciate your words of wisdom as well, John.
Thanks for sharing your story.
I grew up in a super-conservative Roman Catholic parish and school; it took leaving that church at age 13 and doubting Christianity for twenty-plus years for me to be ready for a rebirth. Just as you say, it was God’s love radiating from certain Christians I met that drew me to Jesus’ open arms. Thank you for this post — what a writer you are!
God is love. Jesus came into the world because of the love of God the Father. We must not diminish the love of God. However, that is not the ultimate characteristic of the Father. He is first and foremost Holy, Holy, Holy.
There are those people that we are to withdraw from, to reject. “Have no fellowship with the unfruiful works of darkness”. “Him that is an heretic after the first and admonition, reject”. (Titus 3:10). Come out from among them and be ye separate”. Because God is holy, he will not allow those that have rejected his sacrifice into his heaven. Those that are actively opposed to the gospel are enemies of the cross. We should be careful when we speak of fellowship with unbelievers, and clarify that there are those that seek to make shipwreck of your faith. They must be avoided.
Paul identified a number of people and groups that were his enemies. He did not try to win them. He did not become a buddy to them. He rejected them. He made a judgement that they were evil people. Jesus used a whip to drive the money changers from the temple.
We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, etc. We are engaged in spiritual warfare. The enemy of our souls is out to destroy us. We must not be ignorant of his devices. He is the ultimate enemy, but he uses people to accomplish his purposes. We must be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
I do not know who is an enemy of the cross. I cannot make that judgment call and I highly doubt you can either. People who appear to be enemies can very well be people in the process of being saved. The money changers Jesus drove out of the temple were not enemies, they were hucksters using religion to pad their pockets. They were religious people. You are right to quote Ephesians. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood (people) we love people. Of course we associate with unbelievers, otherwise we would have to leave this world. “I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world.” 1 Corinthians 5:9-10
Pingback: How To Change Another Person - Larry Eubanks | Larry Eubanks