We have very dear friends who live in Branson, Missouri[1] who responded to Thursday’s “My Turn” Catch quite positively because they felt it put both John and me into “the category of real people who have real needs.” It was suggested that perhaps we have yet to provide you with an understanding of what it takes to cross the threshold of our family with you, our Catch family. Therefore we look to provide you on Monday with an appropriate summary of Catch financials.
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John and I are real people with real needs and probably the greatest gift we can offer you is the gift of gratitude.
Gratitude is an emotion that occurs after people receive help. Specifically, gratitude is experienced if people perceive the help they receive as valuable to them, costly to their benefactor, and given by the benefactor with benevolent intentions (rather than ulterior motives).
It is important that we understand that gratitude is not the same as indebtedness. While both emotions occur following help, indebtedness occurs when a person perceives that they are under an obligation to make some repayment or compensation for the aid. The emotions lead to different actions; indebtedness can motivate the recipient to avoid the person who has helped them, whereas dgratitude can motivate the recipient to seek out their benefactor and improve their relationship with them. Indebtedness separates; the gift of gratitude unites.
I know this to be true. A very special woman, also from Branson, graciously gave me generous gifts during times when I really needed her. However, I allowed my emotion of indebtedness to get in the way of our valued relationship. Indebtedness blocked me from seeing realities I could have tended to freely in her life. And yet she continued to give freely, never asking for an exchange for the gift I could (and can) give of gratitude.
Gratitude can also set our family members and friends free to continue their lives without bitterness or self-recrimination. We recently received a request from a Catch member asking for prayer as he traveled to where his father was dying. He was anticipating a time fraught with turmoil for him, because of unresolved “stuff'” between his Dad and himself. In such times the gift of Gratitude may be the only way to connect to a family member or friend who has simply failed and erred and caused pain and even evil with their existence, and who because of death or fixity will never turn around. Whatever evil and lack they have unleashed on the world, they took the gamble of life, and in the case of a parent, brought us into existence, and perhaps did one or two other things toward sending us alive into the future. The gift of gratitude sees this.
If we loathe our lives and ourselves, then we will loathe others – and if we loathe others we are loathing ourselves. If we stop the cycle then what remains is what remains – here we are, there they are, or were, and to be alive is something. A root gratitude for existing is necessary for anything good to happen to anyone.
At the end of a certain process, it is nearly inevitable, I think, to have a very basic root gratitude. Not perhaps grounds for throwing a party, but more than sufficient for maintaining a gift of gratitude.
[1] Branson is my all time favorite destination in all the world – not just because of its renown and brilliant entertainment experiences but for its citizens; gracious people who welcome you with the kind of authentic hospitality generally known only when amongst your own family members. I will write to you sometime soon about why I believe there really is no other place like Branson Missouri – anywhere.
John Fischer The Catch 
My husband, Jack, and I are planning a trip to Branson in the very near future. Thanks for the encouragement you both give to us through the “Catch” on everyday life and good places to visit. Be blessed.
Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing it with us!! I too have had financial issues in the past and know how hard it is to share that with others, I also have learned that gratitiude is probably the most important thing we can share with the people we love. It springs from love and God and always changes our perspective. I wish I could send you a gift this minute but must wait until next week. You have been an extremely important part of my life and I have been so blessed by all of your words of wisdom. You are in my prayers!
Just a couple of thoughts from one who has been touched by your writing ever since you wrote for CCM magazine
1) Have you considered opening your blog up to advertising as many other bloggers, that I count in your same “genre” of christian bloggers (Jon Acuff, Kristen Welch, Ryan Detzler) have done – allowing you to continue your fabulous ministry with a more consistent flow of revenue? Also, please please consider creating a Fischtank Facebook profile page where you post linkbacks to your daily writings, making it even easier for those of us you know and love you to share your writing with others!
John, I work for Inspiration Ministries – a global TV network – and am trying to find out who carries your book “What On Earth Are We Doing” so that we can potentially purchase in bulk to give our partners. Can you tell me how to get it? Thanks so much!
Please email me directly on this: [email protected]. I think I may have already directed you on this. Have I?
I want to set up a monthly contribution but it won’t allow me to use my email address because it is associated with a PayPal account that I own but use for another non-profit that I support and I can’t give you their money. I also have a PayPal account for a business, can’t use that money either. The system that School of Ministries uses for payments is forcing me to set up another PayPal account, that I definitely don’t need or want, if I submit a new email address. What I CAN do is set up monthly checks to be mailed automatically from my checking account. If I have a name and address, I’ll do it but not sure about who’s name, in order to ensure it goes through proper channels.
SO sorry you’re having all these issues. Just so you know, you can use a regular credit card through PayPal’s system and bypass any PayPal account. Our address is 1278 Glenneyre, Laguna Beach, CA 92651. Make checks out to SMMI (School of Music Ministries, International).
Been with you for a long time…and YES…I’m in for $10!
A John & Marti and all the Catch Friends, Check out this book “Living Gently in Violent World: The The Prophetic witness of Weakness” by Stanley Hauerwas and Jean Vanier. The ISBN is 978-0-8308-3452-5 who copyright date is 2008. Transformation is the key.