One of the most powerful and reoccurring themes of our Transforming the Marketplace Bible study on Wednesday nights is the call to live a boldly honest, deception-free life as a Christian. The reason for this is that the real power and presence of Christ in a life cannot function in any environment short of total honesty. It’s Christ’s real life as seen through our real life. For God to be God requires us to be human. Not superhuman as some imagine. Just human. So that when God shows up, He’s the “super,” not us.
Now this is bound to meet up with resistance from a pietistic tradition that propagates the notion of true spirituality as something that approximates sin-free perfection, if not well on the way to it. And sure enough, I never teach this where I don’t hear at some point the fact that there is a time and place for total honesty, hinting that most times and most places are inappropriate. We have to use discernment when we share about our struggles and sins. Wouldn’t want to air our dirty laundry with just anybody, now would we?
Normally I’ve agreed with these sentiments in the name of “balance,” but Wednesday night I suddenly saw this differently. I saw that leaving any exception to total honesty is an invitation to hide, and any excuse to hide makes us no longer vulnerable. Given the option of not telling, and letting people think all is well in our lives – that we are just shiny, happy Christians, and telling the whole truth about our fears, sins and struggles and trusting God to show up… we will choose the former every time. That way we stay in charge of our own spirituality.
Probably the most telling moment in our study Wednesday came when Joel shared that we don’t want to tell the whole truth about our lives because we are afraid of being judged by others. Strange, how quiet it got at that point. Suddenly we all realized that if we struggle at all with what we tell about ourselves, it has everything to do with what people will think of us. That is certainly true about how I write. I am constantly weighing how honest I want to be; after all, I have a reputation to maintain. (It makes me sick to have to say that but it’s true.)
Here is a true statement: Any excuse to hide puts up a barrier to seeing God in my life. When you hide yourself, you hide the power of God in your life. You cut off people’s access to God through you.
It comes down to whether we want to impress people, or give them Jesus. You can’t have it both ways.
John Fischer The Catch 
John,
I agree with the sentiment of your post. However I was the one that brought up the caution flag and I still think there is time for using wisdom when talking to people. If I was totally honest and told someone that they were offensive to me by the way they looked or smelled or that I was turned on by their looks, that would probably be the last I would see them.
Being totally honest about our short comings is a different story and that is where I agree.
Once again John is soooooo right on. The first thing that I learned at Celebrate Recovery was that if I wanted true change & freedom from my addictions, I had to be honest with myself, with others & with God. Love your honesty John. That’s why I read the Catch.
I like/love your post John, as well as these two comments. I agree that the times I’ve seen God at work the most in my life is during/after I’ve just been totally honest with someone. But that honesty has to be motivated by love, and as Don points out, sometime love and wisdom restrain us only to share so much. It is possible to go too far. We can share our weaknesses without getting into all the details of our sin. I’ve even had people tell me that they went off and sinned because I had just told them about my own struggles in a particular arena. They blamed me for their sinning!
I’m also glad that Mark shared about Celebrate Recovery. That is a GREAT place to learn how to share honestly and wisely. Thanks all.
Thank you John for that post. In 1861 the Yankees were defeated by the Confederates at Bull Run. As the defeated Yankee troops retreated they were impeded by the carriages of spectators from Washington D.C.. The nation was shocked by the number of people killed and injured. War is Hell on earth! The spectators had thought it to be a lark, an ‘afternoon’s entertainment’. How easy it is for Satan to propagate the lie, that war is no big deal, in fact it is a spectator sport. No, this is not the only time in history that war was considered ‘fun’…just read about the attitude of new recruits at the beginning of World War I. Then, my father who was a machine gunner in W W II, told me stories about the war that made me think as a child that war was ‘fun’. The latest media exposure on the concussion problem with physical contact sports like ice hockey and football have shown these sports to be what they are, brutal.
In a recent conversation with my siblings, we uncovered the truth about how satan tried to stop us from becoming part of God’s family. When I was fifteen years old, my mother had a hysterectomy. After the operation, the doctor said that it was a miracle that she had been able to have four pregnancies. Satan starts to lie before we are even born, and tries to destroy God’s handiwork. I fall for that con artist’s seducing lies more than I care to admit.
Yes John, brutal honesty is necessary. We don’t need excessive detail. Vulnerability makes us realize that we are not the only ones with that sinful malady. Lust has been a problem for me all my life. Satan seduced me with it when I was a five year old child. That dirty #@$%^&*, went after an innocent child. Praise God for the amazing grace of Jesus Christ!
The last number of years I have been writing a biography of my life. My point of view has been…”God show me how you had your hand on me from the beginning”. He has shown me. The lie satan spread about who i am in the Lord Jesus Christ can only be exposed by brutal honesty. Yes, it is often not pleasant to see, but the truth shall set your free. I learned that satan had me fooled most of my life. I underestimated him! I also underestimated God! I had to admit at one point that I did not like the Truth, I liked my truth. “This hid the power of God in my life”. God loves unvarnished truth. It was that very unvarnished truth that cost Jesus his life. Thankfully He told the Truth.
I agree with the article as to the need of “brutal honesty” and transparency in our relationships. I think there is an area that should be mentioned: the “balance” you changed your mind about. Paul dedicates the whole 14th of Romans and part of the 15th to the need of renouncing some of our personal liberty to “full expression” of what we are. He affirms that there are areas in which we should “please others and not just ourselves”. He also affirms the same viewpoint in I Cor. chs. 8 and 10 when discussing the eating of meat that had been offered to pagan idols (a “hot” issue in Paul’s day). “Do not give offense to Jews or Greeks or to the church of God, just as I also try to please everyone in all things. I do not seek my own benefit, but the benefit of many, so that they may be saved.” (1Co 10:33 NET). And pointedly in Rom. 14:18-20 “For the one who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by people. 19 So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and for building up one another. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. (Rom 14:18-20 NET). Paul urges “aggressive” evangelism by saying: “…when I preach the gospel I … offer the gospel free of charge, and so not make full use of my rights in the gospel. 19 For since I am free from all I can make myself a slave to all, in order to gain even more people. To the Jews I became like a Jew to gain the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law… To the weak I became weak in order to gain the weak. I have become all things to all people, so that by all means I may save some. (1Co 9:18-20, 22 NET). He hides some convictions at least until after people are won to Christ!
This is not the same thing as hiding one’s sins and struggles. That’s what I’m talking about. Being all things to all people is something else entirely.
JOHN,
Today’s Catch very timely. It wasn’t “been there, done that” it’s more like “AM THERE”
The poem was a life jacket! Thanks for the rescuing hand.
I am constantly weighing how honest I want to be; after all, I have a reputation to maintain. (It makes me sick to have to say that but it’s true.)
I loved the honesty of this John. I think we all feel that way!