Control, and the courage to let go

If you’re a man like me, particularly one shaped by evangelical culture, you’ve probably been conditioned to believe that control is a sign of strength. From an early age, we’re taught to take charge, stand firm, and rely on our abilities. The world says masculinity is measured by dominance and self-reliance — the macho, Rocky image. But Jesus? Jesus says something altogether different. Jesus talks about surrender.

What? Surrender? That sounds wimpy. Actually, it’s not wimpy at all. This surrender is not a relinquishment of responsibility but acknowledging that true power, wisdom, and success come from God.

In reality, surrendering of control is actually courageous. Letting go isn’t a weakness; it’s an act of profound trust. For a man who has spent years believing that control equals security, this act of surrender can be one of the most challenging and liberating steps of faith he will ever take.

Surrender begins when we surrender control and step out in faith and action. The man who lets go of control, recognizes God’s sovereignty and acknowledges that God’s wisdom far exceeds his own. Proverbs 3:5-6 makes this plain: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

A surrendered man no longer carries the pressure to figure everything out. Instead, he actively seeks God’s guidance through prayer, Scripture and the Holy Spirit. He trusts that God’s unseen hand is at work even in chaos.

Here’s where it gets tough. Control often disguises itself as strength when, in reality, it’s a shield against vulnerability — something to hide behind. Surrender requires you to drop that shield.

Instead of pretending to have it all together, the surrendered man admits his weaknesses. He stops hiding behind his act of competence and starts sharing his struggles with trusted friends and mentors. He stops performing, embraces vulnerability, and starts connecting. Paradoxically, in that vulnerability, God’s strength is most powerfully displayed (2 Corinthians 12:9). “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

I’ve Been Hidin’

Song by John Fischer

I’ve been hidin’; I’ve been hidin’

Stayin’ where it’s safe and warm inside

I’ve been runnin’; I’ve been runnin’

Makin’ sure that you won’t see me cry

But He found me and He pulled me out

Before you like a tremblin’ lamb

I don’t know where we go from here

But I know I need you; I know I need you

I’ve been hidin’; I’ve been hidin’

Self sufficient, livin’ on my own