To you from Chandler

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by Marti Fischer

There are many amazing realities about our Catch community, but maybe for John and me, the most awesome thing has been the recent comments and encouragements that we have received daily over these past several weeks as we have had to go through some difficult times with our 15-year-old son, Chandler. We have had people that we didn’t know were apart of our community, speaking from their hearts, and telling us about their similar experiences. We’ve had people thanking us for our vulnerability, and people telling us that they are grateful that we are giving them the opportunity to help by coming alongside. Through this kind of connecting, we think that you are offering the most healing part of our experience.

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Find Chandler

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Find Chandler.

I have crossed the chasms of my casual crimes
I have passed the sign at least a thousand times
Waiting for a hand to rescue me
While at any time I could have walked out free
– John Fischer from the songs, “Casual Crimes”

Why does it always seem to take a crisis to bring us closer? I have learned more about my son, Chandler, and myself in this last weekend than I have in years. Part of it might be that a crisis pulls us out of our patterns. Those patterns are probably different for everyone, but for me, it would be a pattern of isolation. I typically hide myself inside the walls of predictability, routine and that catchall: “busy-ness.” Too busy to stop and connect. Too busy to be vulnerable. Too busy to step out of my shoes and into the shoes of another.

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Scout Chandler

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Chandler and Dakota.

I want to start this morning by thanking all of you who have written and commented, especially on the last two “boots” posts. They seem to have really connected with many of you. I know that’s because this whole experience of “losing” and “finding” Chandler has connected so much to us, and especially me. I hardly need to remind you that we are talking about us, but we hope we are also talking about you. What encourages me the most is the number of you who are applying parts of our experience with where you need it in your own life. That is, indeed, the whole point. We are not talking about ourselves as if our lives really mattered to you (with a nod to those of you who have told us that they do), but that you would see your own lives in ours. That you would make the connection. That you would draw out from our story that which applies to your story. Thanks for letting us know that you are doing this.

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Walking in someone else’s boots

Yesterday, I walked all day in Chandler’s boots. It was painful. The heel was high and the shoe was three sizes too big for me, so I had to curl my toes to keep from sliding to the front of the shoe each time I took a step. It was a good reminder, because it’s so easy to stay in your own comfortable perspective. Walking in Chandler’s boots helped make some very important discoveries possible.

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These boots are made for walking

At car show on Friday.

At car show on Friday.

We bought Chandler a pair of cowboy boots on Saturday. We helped him pick them out amidst serious deliberation. It took over an hour. It could have taken all day — we didn’t care — we were with him and that’s all that mattered.

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Love’s adrenaline

th-6So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. (Genesis 29:20)

My how time flies when you’re in love. Funny, I would have thought it would be the other way around. That it would seem like forever, waiting.

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A romantic God

th-5“Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.” (1:2)

Hosea is not your typical romance, but it is a true picture of how God romances us. He loves us in our sin. He promises Himself to us, and though He knows we will slip away to other lovers, He finds us and buys us back. He even pays our going rate. How humiliating to Him, but in His love, He is willing to do whatever is necessary to have us back. Of all the romances in the Bible, this is not the most beautiful, but it is probably the most real. God is the true romancer.

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Okay guys, it’s Wednesday

Gentlemen, start your engines — your romantic engines, that is. It’s Wednesday, and that’s significant. It’s significant because you are going to bring your wife roses today, for no other reason than it’s Wednesday, and you are thinking about her, and you want to let her know that Wednesday is a phenomenal day with her in it.

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Ruth and Boaz

th-2The story of Ruth is another beautiful love story of redemption from the Bible. A severe famine in the land of Israel forces Naomi, her husband and two sons to move to the land of Moab seeking food. There her two sons take Moabite wives: one is Orpah and the other, Ruth.  When her husband and two sons die, Naomi is left destitute with her two daughters-in-law and no heir, and no other sons to offer them. Hearing the famine is over in Israel, she decides to leave them and return home. The two widows try to go with her but she turns them back. “Should I have a husband tonight and should also bear sons, would you wait for them till they were grown?” (Surviving brothers are to take the wives of their deceased brothers to maintain their inheritance.) Naomi feels that God has dealt bitterly with her and simply wants to return to her land, even though she returns empty. Orpah kissed Naomi good-by, but Ruth clung to her, delivering what has become a traditional wedding vow for centuries:

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Redeeming love

thI hate to say it, but depending on your particular schedule, it’s pretty much down to one more week of summer. One more week for that Francine Rivers novel, because, of course, you want to read a romance — something with high entertainment value that doesn’t require a lot of mental effort and rewards you with a guaranteed happy ending for the time spent. That’s what summer’s for, right?

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