Waiting for the prodigal.

Sandie, in a prayer request letter, gave us the ultimate challenge as representatives of the Gospel of Welcome. She wrote: “What role are we playing in the lives of those around us – from our closest loved ones to the merest acquaintance? Do we bring them closer to the love of God, or are we leaving them swinging helplessly in the winds of life?”

I can tell Sandie is intense, can’t you? And thank God she is, because she has offered us something truly valuable to focus on: Bringing everyone around us closer to the love of God. That is a Gospel of Welcome mandate. It is grace turned outward. God has not poured His grace out on us simply to have us apply it to ourselves and be content. He has poured His grace out on us that we might extend that grace to everyone around us, as Sandie says, “from our closest loved ones to the merest acquaintance.”

How do we do that? We do it in 101 different ways, but here are a few things to focus on.

First: Don’t judge; empathize.   As our Grace Turned Outward video suggests, we put ourselves in other people’s shoes and try to imagine what they see, hear and feel. We empathize with them. Instead of judging them, we try and understand them.

Indeed, the situation that brought Sandie to this conclusion was the case that has gotten a lot of attention lately on the Internet about the woman with brain cancer who moved to Oregon so she could legally take her life rather than continue to suffer. The decision to empathize in the situation rather than judge can rule in our hearts, even if we believe what someone is doing is wrong.

Think about it this way. Two people might believe what this woman did was wrong, but take entirely different approaches to dealing with her. (By the way, I’m not suggesting that she was wrong – that’s another discussion for another time – I am only taking a point of view for the sake of making another point.) One might simply judge her for doing what they think is the wrong thing. The other might try to get into her shoes and imagine how bad her life must be in order to bring her to this decision. Which one is bringing the love of God to this woman? If you were the woman dying, which one for these people would you want around you?

Second: Don’t convict; convince.   We remember how God’s grace first came to us – how it dawned on us that we were loved and forgiven in spite of ourselves – and give that same love and forgiveness to the next person, whether or not they know Jesus. It is not our job to convict people of sin; the Holy Spirit does that, and He doesn’t need our help. It is our job to convince them of God’s love and forgiveness by showing them the same.

Third: Don’t tell; show.   For decades, the emphasis among evangelical Christians has been on the message of the gospel. Everything with non-Christians was always focused on one event: that moment when you share the gospel with someone to try to get them to pray with you and receive Christ. That’s what it’s all been about. Nothing about how we treat people, whether or not we love them, or whether we identify with them as sinners. Nothing. The only thing that counts is sharing the gospel. And once you’ve done that, you’re pretty much done with that person, especially if they refuse the gospel. Might as well send them on to Sodom and Gomorrah.

There will come a time for telling – it may be you or it may be someone else who does it – but that is just a moment in time. The rest of the time is all about showing, and showing is what Sandie refers to when she asks, “Do we bring them closer to the love of God, or are we leaving them swinging helplessly in the winds of life?”

You bring someone closer to the love of God by loving them with the love of God. The same way God loves us, unconditionally, no questions asked. When it comes to show and tell, this love “shows” much better than it “tells.” Showing love creates an environment for the telling, so that when it’s time to tell, it’s no big deal. It’s telling someone about what they have already experienced.

Since we started with Sandie, I thought it would be appropriate to end with her.

“In a few weeks we will celebrate Thanksgiving. We need to determine now, and for the rest of our lives, that we will live those lives so that people will give thanks for knowing you and me. We need to bring the life and light of Christ wherever we go. We must freely extend the grace that was so freely given to you and me. We can’t be late in loving, because eventually … it will be too late.”

In the meantime, why don’t you write and tell us how you bring people around you closer to the love of God. Let’s encourage one another with some stories of grace turned outward.

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I understand why Marti is always asking that I stop avoiding conflict. How can I sing a new song of deliverance to those who have no hope if, at the same time, I insist on being comfortable among those who do?

She reminded me of my early Christian ministry when I was honored to be part of a movement where we sang songs of salvation. We were personally involved in ministries of mercy and issues of compassion and significance. We were taking on the voice of the prophets, penetrating into those aspects of our culture where the truth of God had a sure and true word for us. We articulated the vision of a radical kind of Christian discipleship. Our voices shined the light of God on the darkness of racism and war with a Christian conscience that awoke to the realities of poverty and corruption.

Many miracles occurred during that season. Yet sadly, few churches were ready for this new influx of voices, and so the movement happened without many participating or offering invitations of welcome. There was more freedom and a far more receptive audience outside the boundaries drawn by many churches.

Why were so many churches not ready? In my opinion, many of the churches were too cold to those both inside and out of its pews. One of my songs during this time, “The Cold Cathedral,” cried for spiritual reality in the midst of religious deadness, sameness, and a comfort-seeking isolation from the real needs of its people — inside and out.

While no longer cold, I fear many of our churches today are in similar places of complacency. Instead of cold cathedrals, we might refer to them as “cool” cathedrals. They want so much to be “cool” that relevancy could be considered our new god. Once again, we seem to reflect the concerns of the status quo, and the easy acceptance of a world where how we feel is the great crisis of our time. We’ve produce a massive industry of ready-to-wear discipleship to go with our warm, fuzzy, evangelical entertainment experience. We dress the way we want to dress, sing songs we want to sing, and hear messages we want to hear. Everything is catered to us insiders. It’s all about us and a short list of approved social issues and not the prophetic agenda of justice and compassion. We want more of Jesus as long as we can avoid both what is uncomfortable outside our walls and those who are hostile to religion.

It is time to stop avoiding conflict — stop dodging Jesus — for our more comfortable Christianity. Jesus is more “out” when it comes to our churches today than He is “in.” He was often all about conflict, and it certainly followed Him wherever He went.

It’s time to stop and listen to another new song Jesus is singing, and wants us to sing. It’s a new song of deliverance and hope as we apply the Gospel in a way that embodies suffering with the prophetic truth and challenges evil with sacrificial love. It’s a new song of reconciliation that causes those with no hope to hear, to run to Him and not away from Him, because acts of love are occurring and not just words.

“God so loved the world that He gave .…” It’s time for us to go and do the same.

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Inspired by “grace turned outward,” Colleen wrote:

“I can remember working in a cancer hospital, where a man lost part of his foot only to learn later they needed to remove more. His girlfriend abandoned him, and God put me in an awkward position. I showed up when his medication drip was not working. I do not like hugs, and this man grabbed my hand, hugged it, kissed it, and all I could do was be there for him in spite of my own feelings. Yes, Grace doesn’t just work on the inside, but grace reflects from the inside out, as you say, and I know this very well! Keep stepping forward and stepping out!”

1. Colleen found out some valuable things here. Often all we need in order to be used by God is to get ourselves to where the need is. The Holy Spirit in us is so eager to work that He will take over once we’ve overcome whatever barrier prevented us from stepping out.

2. Caring can be awkward and embarrassing. Someone hugging and kissing your hand could feel a little weird, but it’s genuine appreciation. Giving makes you as vulnerable as receiving.

3. Grace cannot be received in isolation; it is received so that it can be given out.

Pardon another baseball illustration, but it’s a coaching fact that catchers who can throw out runners trying to steal second base do so by learning that receiving the ball from the pitcher and throwing quickly down to second base can happen effectively only when it’s done with one fluid motion that does both receiving and throwing. It’s not a two-step process: receive the ball, and then throw the ball. It’s receiving and throwing all in one. I’ve seen catchers practice this over and over again in spring training, and the best catchers are the ones who have this down to a one-step process.

In fact, in Jesus’ teachings, receiving and giving cannot be separated. It’s one fluid motion. “… and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” The preposition “as” ties these two inextricably together. It’s a one-step process; you can’t have one without the other. Consequently, the reverse is also true: If I can’t forgive someone, that is a clear indication that I haven’t allowed myself to be forgiven. If I can’t love, it’s because I don’t believe I am loved. If I can’t give mercy, it means I haven’t received mercy, or at least I don’t believe it. If I’m wanting people to have to pay for their sins, it’s a clear indication that I think I’m still paying for mine.

Grace turned outward is an incredible joy. It’s a celebration of freedom and abandonment. “I can’t believe I get this; here, you get it too!” “If I’m forgiven, everyone’s forgiven!” “If I’m welcome, everyone’s welcome!” “If God can love me, I can love anybody.”

Thank you, Colleen, for showing us again what the Gospel of Welcome is really like.

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Jim and Shelly are homeless. Have been this way for over fifteen years. They’re married; they love each other, and want to be together, but that’s almost impossible on the street. For stretches of time they’ve been able to live off the street, though separate from each other, through community housing; Jim with the Salvation Army, and Shelly with a downtown women’s shelter. We met them through our work with the shelter and against the rules and the advice of most people who volunteer to help the homeless, we have established a relationship with them apart from either of these organizations. We send them money from time to time when things get desperate, and have rallied some of our friends to help donate a laptop for Jim to get his degree, and furniture for a small motel room they were able to rent for a few months.

Shelly struggles with severe depression (who wouldn’t in that environment?), alcoholism and drug abuse. Jim is schizophrenic. They’ve had jobs, but nothing steady. Jim wants to be a counselor for kids on the street, but he can’t get far enough away from the street himself to qualify.

People tell us we’re making a big mistake, saying they will never be anything but homeless, and we are pouring money down a drain. We defy that counsel, because we believe if we can make their lives a little better, even for a moment in time, it is still worth it. Of course, our goal is to get them off the street and together under one roof, and we did help them do that for a few months.

My first chance to meet Jim came when I rented a truck and took over a bed and some linens and furniture to help turn their motel room into something that might resemble a home. It was then that I was able to understand this sentence we’ve been focusing on these last few days…

If we could stand in someone else’s shoes and hear what they hear, see what they see, feel what they feel, wouldn’t we approach each other differently?

I approached them differently that day, when, after helping set up a bed, dresser, and a couple pictures on the wall, they were able to offer me some hospitality in their new home. In that setting it, was as if I was enjoying a few moments with any of my neighbors in our neighborhood. Jim proudly pointed out a few things he’d collected along the way. Shelly managed something that rarely crosses her face — a smile.

Sitting in their house that day was a real treat. Jim’s a talkative guy and I heard story after story, many of which made me laugh. We talked about our kids. We talked about the Lord. He dreamed of having Marti and me over for a barbecue. It was terribly normal.

But, in their shoes, I was also scared. How long would this last? If they couldn’t make a go of it, how much harder would it be to go back? Would I rather not have even known this?

The look on their faces showed me my answer. No. Hold onto this as long as we can. It’s worth it even if they have to go back out on the streets tomorrow. Sadly, it turned out to be not too much longer. A few weeks later the toilet broke. The landlord blamed them and charged them for the repairs. They couldn’t pay, and were evicted. We didn’t find out until after the fact. “We couldn’t ask you for that much,” they said. We wished they had. We would have figured out something.

So, as of this writing, they are back out on the streets. It hurts. Shelly called for laundry money the other day. On her birthday, we made sure they got a night in a hotel. We’ve entertained the thought of taking them in. Will it ever get any better than this? I hope so, but it doesn’t change anything if it doesn’t, because in the end they are just like us. There are no ultimatums here. I’m just as needy. I want for the same things.

Are we helping the homeless? Are we being philanthropic? Are we doing our civic duty? I don’t really know what any of that is. I just know we love Jim and Shelly, and they are hurting right now. We’re no different. We’re in the same boat, and just as desperate. They call us when they need something, and we make no judgment call. We call someone when we need something, and hope for the same from them. As far as I know, these are our friends. I expect to keep it that way.

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