‘Weep with those who weep’


We were awakened at two in the morning last night by a phone call from our daughter in Hawaii. By the time we were coherent enough to know what was going on, we had each gotten two calls from her. We called her back only to find her reeling from being with her boyfriend, whom she did not recognize as anything like the person she has known and loved for the last three years. Then she shocked us by telling us about this person whom we thought we knew, who had suddenly flipped and became someone else — saying and doing things any of us would have never thought possible. It made the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde seem like a children’s Wonder book.

Anne was shaken to the core and we had to just let her talk. Among the things she was wrestling with was her relationship with the Lord, which for her at this point was in question. Why would God let this happen to her? “Why do things like this happen to me; I’m not a bad person?”

Indeed, she is not. As an ER trauma doctor, she is known in her hospital for the genuine, loving, personal attention she gives people over and above what is required. Just yesterday, she told us she sewed up an 80-year-old man’s leg the “long way” versus the short cuts that would have normally been used on someone his age in emergency. “If he were my father, I would never take a short cut.” And she did this lengthier process on her own time without pay. That’s my Anne.

So as Anne is assessing her situation, she can’t help but think that God is not being fair. Here she is with a broken heart. She’s grieving over this person, thinking she’s doing the best that she can, and God let’s this happen? How come? What has she done to deserve this?

That’s sometimes the problem with living in a cause and effect world. We expect an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Newton’s Third Law of Motion — for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction — applies to more than just physical bodies. It is a law of the universe, but God commonly and often interrupts that law because He is God and He can. We do not live in a closed system. Good children can have bad parents. Read the Psalms. Read Job. Sometimes the wicked do well, and sometimes the righteous have calamity visited upon them, and try to come up with a reason for this, and you will not always find one. God does not always follow His own rules. That’s the tough part. His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8).

So we stay up into the night trying to make sense of what just happened and we cannot. We try to say something that will make it all better and we cannot. We look for reasons and causes and they elude us. All the neat Christian buzz words we’ve been saving up for moments like this fall by the wayside. We find we can only feel, and hurt, and question, and suddenly we understand the admonition of Paul to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).

We are taking this young man to our Prayer Warriors and you might want to join them. He is in a place where he could harm himself.

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10 Responses to ‘Weep with those who weep’

  1. Grace Brock says:

    I’m praying hard for your family and daughter may God show her his love and grace and give you all peace may he protect her with his mighty angels

    Grace Brock Massage Therapist


  2. peter leenheer says:

    Just read this about your daughter, I have prayed and am praying for both of them. Am also praying for you the parents. It is extremely unnerving to think you know someone and then it appears you don’t. That is heartbreaking!!! It tears your life apart. I cannot imagine the pain!
    What caused this, was that young man in the military.

  3. tornveil2 says:


  4. John A Fagliano says:

    Wow. So sorry to hear this. Perhaps he is suffering from some form of mental illness. That usually would not strike a person all at once, but maybe he’d been trying to hide it for some time and just had a meltdown. I pray that Anne will know that even though there are times when it feels like God left the building, He is right beside her and will walk with her through this. I appreciate that you shared this with us. Your prayer warriors have been there for us, and we will surely be here for you. Prayers are being sent out for Anne, for this man, and for you and Marty.

  5. Mark D Seguin says:

    Praying & weeping…

  6. keithmariecarter says:

    We are so sad to hear of Anne’s sorrow. We are sorry for her to have to go thru this and we are so sorry for you and Marty. Last August my husband and I flew to Anchorage to bring our daughter home to Maryland, and out of a very similar situation, but also an abusive one. So similar, it brought back the tears that I thought the 7 months had healed. These tears of ours could best be described as knowing and understanding tears. We have been there, so our prayers are with you all. We have asked for prayers before for our daughter who deals with MS. She was extremely sick when we brought her home and she is better, thanks to many people praying for her.

  7. Heather A Himes says:

    My heart breaks for your daughter right now. I know this feeling. May God let her know that He hears her, He understands, He will keep hearing her and will be holding her. May He surround you all with His grace and strength. And may God help this person who has hurt her so deeply. I’m so sorry, Anne.

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