Marti and I were married on January 4, 1975. Such a date for a wedding has its advantages and disadvantages, especially when it comes to anniversaries. A definite disadvantage is that we are often spent from the holidays by the time we realize it’s our anniversary. So we order in dinner, throw the last log on the fire, open the bottle of champagne I snuck in from New Years and toast another year of being married. No gifts; just memories.

Now the one good thing about having an anniversary on January 4 is that, should we think ahead and plan for it, it means one more celebration to look forward to after the holidays are over. That was definitely true of this year, because if you have already done the math, you will have discovered that two days ago was our 50th wedding anniversary. And this one we were ready for. Dinner out. A special gift to commemorate the day brought in by the waiter. A song sung for us by the singer in the band, and applause and recognition from the audience.

Fifty years. That’s significant. And as I think of that, I think about raising a glass to my wife, who is the champion of honoring vulnerability and maintaining unconditional love. Had it been anyone else I married, I don’t know that 50 years would have been possible. I don’t know who else would have been able to put up with me and still honor me in spite of myself. I am so fortunate.

There is a song I sang to Marti in her kitchen when we were dating. It is a song by Paul Williams (“Just An Old Fashioned Love Song”) that perfectly captures how and what I was feeling in the early stages of our relationship.

“I Never Had It So Good”

by Paul Williams

I never had much money

I never won a race

My jokes don’t end up funny

And I’ve had doors slammed in my face

But I think you’ve charmed me

I always hoped that someone would

I never had a love like this before, no…

I never had it so good.

I’m not the kind that’s trusted

I’m always tripping over logs

And often I’ve been busted

Chased by friendly dogs

But I think you’ve charmed me

I always hoped that someone would

I never had a love like this before, no —

I never had it so good.

I never had a love like this before, no —

I never had it so good.

Not only was it the perfect song 50 years ago, it’s the perfect song now. I can’t even begin to list my faults and short comings that Marti has and still endures, with much more serious things than tripping over logs, and still she loves me. That’s because her love and respect is unconditional. I didn’t earn it and don’t deserve it. I can be a real jerk. I can narcissistically act like I’m the only person that counts in the room, and still she loves me. Don’t get me wrong, she will let me know when I’m being a jerk, but she doesn’t let anyone else know. That’s the respect showing up.

Without unconditional love on both our parts, there would be little hope for a relationship. But thanks to God who has taught us this, and with His unconditional love in us, we can more deeply love one another.

It’s true for all of us: we never had it so good.