The Breakfast Club, is on my top ten list of favorite movies of all time. (Others on that list would be The Big Chill, Mr. Mom, The Big Kahuna, and Red (the first one — can’t wait to see the next one out now). In this movie we get to know five high school kids serving detention on a Saturday for bad behavior. (The jock, the nerd, the prom queen, the delinquent, and the non-conformist loner.) The movie begins with a quote by David Bowie that packs a good deal of practical wisdom about raising or dealing with kids. “…and these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They’re quite aware of what they’re going through…”
What follows is a film that perfectly portrays that point. We get to know, from their perspective, what these five students are going through, at the same time we find out how far away the adult authority — the teacher in charge of them — is from having even a clue. They are completely immune to his attempts to beat any sense into their thick skulls. There is a total disconnect between adult and child.
I was reminded of this quote recently when I discovered an old Catch about a talk I gave for a Young Life fundraiser. It turned out to be the perfect choice, because what transpired leading up to my speech were personal testimonies from kids and parents who had learned this truth in the trenches of their lives. We heard from youth workers and parents who, instead of judging and condemning kids, came along side them and loved them, no questions asked, even when that meant bailing them out of jail or driving them home drunk from a party; and we heard from kids, what this kind of love did for them.
It occurs to me that this truth is not just for adults and kids; it’s universal. You really don’t have a right to speak into anybody’s life until you know what he or she is going through; and you don’t know what someone is going through unless you take enough time to get in their shoes. All of this starts with learning to listen without passing judgment. Easier said than done, but it must be done, nonetheless.
This always begins with loving and accepting yourself without passing judgment, because we know we are all guilty, big time. You must first receive mercy before you will ever be able to give it. Take some time this week to find out what someone else is going through. You will both benefit.
John Fischer The Catch 
Hey Catch group jus thought i’d share a lil bit about me having the great chance this past weekend to have experience this: “Take some time this week to find out what someone else is going through.” What happened is a friend of mine, oh by the way i finally received my new scotter; anyway this buddy tells me he met a nice home-less woman early this past week up @ the Park where we ride our scotters to, so when i got my scotter and we went up to there to met her on Friday. I knew it was suppost to rain all weekend in Metro Detroit, MI so I offered her a place to sleep, eat, shower and stay warm and dry 4 the weekend. She didn’t take me up on it @ first yet later on that evening she did come over to my place – I enjoyed her company 4 the weekend – she said she could see that I was a christian from the things on my walls. I told yes, I am a follower of Jesus – all of a sudden she she quoted: (I believe it’s some where in the book of Romans) “For we all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.” In a second I knew or got the very good feeling (the Holy Spirit, i think) that someone had been preaching a lot to her, so I jus told her that I loved her as a fellow humam being and so did God, plus we both cared 4 her – a tear came to her eye and she thanked me 4 my kindness…. PS she left today, plz whisper some prayers 4 Kim – she needs help and doesn’t trust a lot of people.
Breakfast Club is certainly on my list–along with several of the director John Hughes’ films!
Very nice, Mark!! God is definitely using you & your new scooter!
Now about today’s Catch… John, when you said “We heard from youth workers and parents who, instead of judging and condemning kids, came along side them and loved them, no testimonies from kids and parents who had learned this truth in the trenches of their lives. We heard from youth workers and parents who, instead of judging and condemning kids, came along side them and loved them, no questions asked, even when that meant bailing them out of jail or driving them home drunk from a party; and we heard from kids, what this kind of love did for them.questions asked, even when that meant bailing them out of jail or driving them home drunk from a party.”, surely you’re not really suggesting that?? How will a kid learn that there are real consequences to his behavior, if Mommy bails him out of jail over and over?? I knew a man, a grandfather in his sixties, who’s Mommy continued to bail him out of jail for substance abuse and identity theft. He finally took his own life, because mommy simply ran out of money. There will always be a total disconnect between a parent and a child. That is why parents should be parents, and not buddies to their kids. Maybe I miss read the whole thing and I am not understanding your point. If so, please for give me!
I will always choose to err on the side of grace.
It’s kind of funny what just happened to me. Kim the very nice, kind and thoughtful woman that happens to be home-less jus stopped by my place – and she gave me a bunch of paper towels & paper plates… I laughed when she handed the bag of them to me and offered her to stay and talk and have a cup of coffee w/ me – she said she had a get going… Yet gave me a great big bear hug, which I throughly enjoyed. 🙂
PS also this past week i took my new scooter up to a local Church also called another one on Wednesday to put Kim on the prayer list and one really nice assoc. Pastor gave me a phone number for ‘women in need,’ which Kim took from me – Hopefully she does call and they can help her too… Plz continue to whisper prayers 4 my new friend…