A change is happening on the inside
And it makes no sense for me to hide
What I don’t want you to see
Everything that lies inside me
‘Cause amidst the mess I’ve made of me
You might see the Lord
From the song, “Inside” by John Fischer
You wouldn’t believe how arrogant I was when I wrote this song about the mess I’d made of my life. If you had asked me about that mess then, I’m sure I would have come up with a few things, but I doubt they would have added up to much of a mess in the grand scheme of things. In fact my arrogance would have been a major part of the mess, but I wouldn’t have realized it. I had indeed made a mess of my life, I just didn’t see it. In spite of the “mess” I thought I was doing pretty good. That’s why songs are so prophetic. You utter truths before you’ve had a chance to actually experience what they mean.
So now, today, I can truly tell you I’ve made a mess of my life. There are numerous important areas of responsibility I have ignored, and that amounts to sin. And along with that, the arrogance is still there — the resistance against admitting that there is actually anything really wrong. Which makes it worse.
So according to the song, all of this is part of the mess I’ve made, and yet you can still see the Lord in me, because that is how He works. He does not make us perfect people. He manifests His love and His presence in our lives alongside of our fallenness. In fact, it is the reality of His presence in the context of our messy lives that shows Him to be real, and shows us to be believable.
The older I get more I realize how much I need Jesus. Just like everybody does.
‘Cause he’s in there movin’
Got a knife and He’s prunin’
Cuttin’ out the old man
Bringin’ in the new
And it’s foolish to fake it
So I’m lettin’ Him take it
‘Cause He said I’d be like Jesus
When He’s finally through