A long winding valley

We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also. 2 Corinthians 6:13


by Marti Fischer

My heart hurts for the loss of Ethan. I embrace what C. S. Lewis wrote, “Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.” And indeed it is a journey, one I will not cut short.

Dear Ethan, you are not alone. I am listening with your heart that no longer beats, holding your hand that is cold, looking into your eyes so you can see, dear Jesus let him see, I feel your pain. I am going to walk through this together with your Mom and Dad, your big sister and twin brother.  I promise you, you are not alone.

On behalf of Ethan, I ask you to join me as we all step, individually, into the life of a Millennial by asking first for permission if we might share a level of vulnerability by being vulnerable ourselves — the man or woman Jesus intended us to be.

Discover with a Millennial a long, winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape. Invest in the time it takes to allow a person who does not understand relationships, because they have encountered few, to come to trust you. Introduce yourself as someone who would prefer not to be in a relationship that requires transparency, but you are going to be transparent anyway, because you long  to be found trustworthy. The process of being found trustworthy, yay to even understand, will take time. Therefore, you are available on a consistent timeline, and agree when and where.

Pray to the Lord to bring to your mind the person who was there for you at some time in your life. The person who accepted you for who you were. The person who took the time to listen, to such a degree that when they said, “You matter,” you trusted them enough to believed them.

And then turn to your Millennial and tell them, “You are not alone”…. And, for Ethan’s sake, mean it.

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6 Responses to A long winding valley

  1. Toni Petrella says:

    Thank you Marti Fischer for such a great message. I hope millions will follow the message. I admit I was sad hearing about the loss of Ethan and I thank God each day and always keep the faith no matter what. God accepted all of us thru his son Jesus and I hope millions will reach out to others. I lost a father the same way and I know the pain from that. Just always keep the faith one day at a time and always be there for someone when they are feeling the pain. Take care, God Bless, and have a good weekend.

    • Yudy Vinograd says:

      i am ethans father. im wondering how you believe Ethan passed? you state you lost a “father the same way”, but the message in this blog has been construed by my extended family is that Ethan took his own life which is just not so and hurtful to his family. i ask that while you find comfort in your faith, that you embrace the greater spirituality that Ethan enjoyed and spread. He was an Empath who bore the burden of giving unconditional love and support to all…not in the name of Jesus, but in the name of humanity. be well, tell those around you how much you love them and show them that love unconditionally. thank you

  2. Peter Leenheer says:

    Our church’s youth department has appealed to the congregation and especially the seniors to offer themselves to mentor the youth that desire to be mentored. I signed up for that a few weeks ago. The young man is 16 years old. i am going to learn a lot, if I go by the results of the first meeting. Imagine a 78 year old learning from a teenager. Of course he is going to learn from me too, but then we both benefit.

    As Marti says, be vulnerable. Vulnerability has always been one of the keys to a deep relationship. Cyberspace can be a good place to be vulnerable, but a one on one mentoring encounter is scary because you have to look at the person sitting in front of you and talk about feelings. Guys usually talk about information not the emotional occurrences in our lives, so vulnerability goes against the grain. Isn’t that what God encourages us to do when we choose to follow Him?

    This is how I chose to say, “You are not alone”.

    • Mark Dennis Seguin says:

      How cool brother Peter I’ll certainly keep you & this 16 young man in my thoughts & prayers… May you plz consider posting about the relationship here, OK?

  3. Lifting up others through a simple kindness:

    • Mark Dennis Seguin says:

      Big thank-you brother Bob 4 posting this NBC News report! I was moved!!!

      Roseville is the City where I met a very special, very kind and GREAT looking woman, which I knew that back than, yet simply wasn’t ready for a serious relationship – with ANYONE woman. Because me & my high school sweetheart that I was engaged to, yet we broke up and ended that relationship and jus wasn’t ready to get into another one, plus w/ my high school sweetheart is how I found the Lord – see every other Holiday we go together to each others Church and Christmas Service of ’79 I went “forward” to accept Christ…. And to make a long story shorter that’s when I started w/ my 3 foot rule, if you got within 3 feet of me – I’d tell you about my Jesus and wat he ha done to & 4 me! And thought 4 sure I was being called into the Ministry…

      So almost needless to say, I had a lot of things I NEEDED to work out in my own personal life, and decided to become an Engineer….

      Yet that Video clip was so good and brought back flash back of good High School memories!

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